Thursday, June 19, 2008

Of Looking for God

When your desire becomes the grave of your secret,
the desire of yours will be gained more quickly.
The Prophet said that anyone
who keeps his inmost thought
will soon attain the object of his desire.
When seeds are buried in the earth,
their inward secrets become the flourishing garden.
(The Six Faced Mirror, Mathnawi I, 175-177)

- quoted from I Am Muslim by Dina Zaman, 2007


My current favourite book.

It's funny and pin-points my unconscious inner thoughts. Things I've thought about, currently thinking and currently practising are encapsulated in the book. I absolutely, absolutely adore it.

It helps that I used to read Dina's Dalca regularly in the newspaper when I was a teenager. Dina's humour and spontaneous style bookmarked in my head. Brings back memories when I was staying with Mak and Bak.

The reason I'm noting this down today, is because of what happened yesterday. Apart from the VERY unexpected turmoil that turned up at the office yesterday, I was happy juggling thoughts in my head. Of a very unexpected, prolonged crush. How juvenile. But yes, I liked it, it made me happy so what the hell.

And the words from the poem kept ringing in my head (although I couldn't get it word for word) the first two lines were enough for me to get the gist. I won't tell anyone, although I very much wanted to share about this crush of mine with Sarip last weekend. Who else better to tell, than the most quiet one in the bunch?

Now, I'm really glad I have a blog! Pour it out gal!

Ok, no names. But, wouldn't hurt to give him a nick name, a-la Carrie Bradshaw, with Mr. Big.

Hmmm.. his will be.. uhmm.. Mr. Loud? No, too brash.

Mr. Confidence? Perhaps.

Mr. South? Cause he's based in the southern region? Southie? Hahaha.. that's along the lines of R-E-S, ie: Saudi vs Southie

Mr. Coo? Ooooohh.. nice.. cause he's the C.O.O?

Ok, let's settle on Mr. Coo? Hey, now that looks like a Chinese name lah pulak.

Ok, ok, Mr. South.

Alright, Mr. South is this high positioned singleton (is that even a proper word?) who reeks confidence and very gung-ho (quoting my boss), and is oh, plump (but that's ok cause he's confident) with a voice so loud, that it beats me and/or Renny.

His birthday is 2 days away from mine (Libra, as I am) but 7 years apart. I'm not sure why I'm so crushy about him, but I am. Ok, I think it's the confidence portion.

I don't want to give away so much about him, cause God forbid anyone I know stumbles upon this blog!

Yesterday, in an effort (or so-called) to catch his attention (hey, it's my first time ever to make any first move, or SO-CALLED) - I emailed a two liner to him. Only him. No CC to no one.

Then, he replied. A one-liner. And I got all excited about it. Sheesh, me and cheap thrills.

My question is, has it been so long, that it only takes a one-line email, or do I REALLY have a super-major crush on this one?

Beats me. The answers will be revealed when I read this again, few years (or months) down the line. But as of this moment, the one-liner was enough to run my endorphins from 3.17pm yesterday until 6.11 pm.

So, to Mr. South, if he ever finds out (or not) of this mushy-crushy, thank you for indicting my endorphins for this past few months.

And, to Dina Zaman, thank you for highlighting that poem at just the right time in my life. *smile*