Friday, March 7, 2008

Of Leaving a Will

Not so sad, not so happy either. But almost on a right track. Not losing focus so much. Still a bit blur, but not depressed. Better, alhamdulilah.

So, it's a Friday. Got most work out of the way (unless related to contacting my clients), it's 8.00 pm after a heavy downpour, definitely congested, and thank God I'm just stealing some time to wait for tennis to come at 9.

I have been wanting to do this a long time. I did it before-on a piece of paper, which could tragically be in some long forgotten book. So, might as well have it here. It's a responsibility, regardless.

I was born on a Friday morning. And, according to most people (I'm not so sure about this), you would probably die on the same day you were born. So it's a Friday today. There's a possibility that I could die today. And my will says:

" I don't have much to leave. Virtually, nothing of real worldly value. What I have garnered in this (short, long? is relative) life is hoped to have been of good impact to others. As I am now unattached, my real commitment is my family. I put forth my parents and my siblings. My prayers everyday are dedicated to them. And though at times I may appear to be harsh, my intents are not so. So, I have only my love to pass on to them - for all of you, my dear family! (uncles, aunties, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, the whole gang!)

Then I pray that when I go, they will love and say a prayer for me too.

I thank them for all the pictures they have carved in my memories, for giving me colours and hope and motivation to have lead a great life. And I hope to meet them again in the afterlife.

And to friends and acquaintances, you are always a part of me. Shaping and moulding the way I was. And I pray for the best always for you.

This is not a very good will, I am lost for words.

My point being, if I ever hurt anyone, owed anyone anything, please accept my sincerest apologies and (since I am still alive right now, I hope to repay any hutang!) And, (not that I'm anticipating) please don't weep. I don't think I've had any regrets living my life. Mistakes - yes, sins - yes, and I pray that to get God's forgiveness before He takes me. I may not live a full life (comparatively) but I lived it mine. And I have each of you to thank, forever, and love, forever.

My last goodbye. "